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It clearly was originaly written in the third person, and you just put it in first person, but letting so much “him” or “they” go through …anonymous readerReport 2011-11-15 22:44:08Good story, but you really gotta break up you paragraphs and proof read it.anonymous readerReport 2011-11-15 09:27:02Spelling, grammer, sentance structure, and paragraph structure all suck. Free porn It clearly was originaly written in the third person, and you just put it in first person, but letting so much “him” or “they” go through …anonymous readerReport 2011-11-15 22:44:08Good story, but you really gotta break up you paragraphs and proof read it.anonymous readerReport 2011-11-15 09:27:02Spelling, grammer, sentance structure, and paragraph structure all suck.