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I wish you luck in your future attempts at writing :)anonymous readerReport 2012-08-21 20:56:58no begining a rush to sex and no end equal a WASTE OF TIME do a total rewrite and use a good editor.chance52Report 2012-07-10 18:52:17much like everyone else said, you’re story does need some build up to it. Xxx video It would be nice if you could give the story a kind of “natural flow”. it has potential to be good. But most men need somewhere in between 5 and 20 minutes to fully recover after cum’ing. But it’s a nice try. good start though. 10 s«12»anonymous readerReport 2013-10-28 09:13:31I agree it dose has potenial a lot indeed the locatipn is a bit hard to imagine but keep going my love.anonymous readerReport 2013-03-14 19:26:13i like when he said put your hand in your